Lush Gutters

It is my steadfast opinion that anyone who says, “I’m all for gay rights, but we should respect the laws of a foreign country”, is lying to you about how much they actually support gay rights.

We have a nasty tendency to refer to gay rights as an issue on the same level as what side of the road you should drive on, or whether you can take a beer onto a train. It’s almost as if those that wish to dissent are the ones guilty of disrespect. We are, of course, talking about whether or not a person can be a crime. It is not. The. F**king. Same.

First, the obvious: laws can be evil. When many hear the word ‘law’ they seem to assume that they arise through the careful and considered agreement of a nation’s entire population. On this particular issue, many seem to be labouring under the wilful misapprehension that these anti-gay directives were written with the unanimous consent of every Qatari citizen, as if the nation is a flourishing democracy and not run by religious fundamentalists perfectly at ease with repression in general. It doesn’t take too much digging to unearth who holds the cards in Qatari society; the country adopts the ‘male guardianship’ system, in which women must have male permission to marry, travel abroad, or access reproductive health care. We say ‘respect the laws’ as if it’s simply a matter of personal preference, without considering who hasn’t been involved in creating them. 

Would we have been so similarly tolerant of the laws in apartheid South Africa? No, the country was ostracised, and only invited back into the international sporting fold when they put an end to the malignant tumour of state-sanctioned racism. FIFA, however, in its money-hungry myopia, simply feels that the gays aren’t that big a deal. Judging from many conversations I’ve had since returning to the UK, they’re not alone.

That’s the root of it – we just don’t seem to take equality seriously, especially if it gets in the way of a good game of footy. Yet if it was illegal to be straight in Qatar – or if men were subordinate to women – you can bet your bottom dollar the world cup wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near the country. But again: ‘don’t worry, it’s only the gays. People really should be more tolerant… to Qatari legislation. They’re the real victims here. Bloody hell, all this protesting is really killing the vibe, eh?’

I’ve also had these arguments gruffly rebutted with, “if the teams feel so strongly about it, they should stay home!” Get out of here with that bollocks. This needn’t be a one-or-the-other issue (and also, do you think I don’t detect your barely veiled frustration with having to even discuss the issue of gay rights in the first place?) Why should the players give up their dreams because FIFA decided, without their consent, to trade their flimsy morals for filthy money? What made Tommie Smith and John Carlos’ Black Power salute at the ’68 Olympics so meaningful is because they were there to do it. It shouldn’t be overlooked that even they waited until after they’d competed before making their stand, thereby aligning their moral compasses with their sporting ambitions. My sincerest hope is that the teams in Qatar will do the same. Time will reveal who is truly made of the right stuff.

We already know that many of the players in Qatar want to use this opportunity – with the eyes of the world on them – to show their support for LGBTQ+ rights, albeit through the fairly tame gesture of wearing rainbow armbands featuring the slogan ‘One Love’. Yet even this is too much for the obsequious c***s at FIFA, who have threatened players and teams with ‘unlimited sanctions’ should they persist (tell me again about how it’s always those pesky liberal lefties behind cancel culture). Whilst I too was disappointed by the decision of the relevant football associations to give in to FIFA, I feel that they’re an unfair target. The players are professional athletes, who have worked themselves into the ground to achieve their lifelong dreams of competing at a World Cup. They’re not politicians. They didn’t choose Qatar. By stating their aim to wear the armbands they’ve made some noise, and even by backing down they’re keeping us arguing, which in this case is a damn good thing! Remember who the real devil is. Every time Gianni Infantino moans about wishing people would focus on the football, I grin like a Cheshire cat. You brought this on yourself, you snivelling, morally bankrupt, venal, spineless sack of sh*t. I hope the bickering makes your ears bleed.

Many won’t agree, but to me the fact that this world cup has gone ahead is a wonderful thing, as long as the arguments, protests, and controversies continue to haunt it – and its organisers – from start to finish, and beyond. Let me put it this way: if I had a young son/daughter/other, I would be thrilled if they were interested in football, but even more so if – as they fell in love with the game itself like I did, watching wide-eyed and spellbound by the exploits of their sporting heroes – they heard some of the ruckus, and with a furrowed brow looked up to me and asked, “Dad, why are people flying those colourful flags? Why is everyone so upset?”

I can’t wait for that conversation. You can be damn sure that I’ll tell them that they absolutely DO NOT have to respect anyone – or any law – that thinks a human being should be illegal based on who they love.

I will tell them that gay rights isn’t a political issue. It’s a moral one. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is to be treated with the utmost suspicion.